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Widowing / Possessing

by Autumn Tears / Zeresh

/
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1.
2.
Unmaker of Worlds: Sons and daughters lie where they fell Faceless strangers except for you, and I Crawling like infants through mounds of dust Crumbling like clay The gods judge us for the last time Hear me before you run and hide Even the bravest fall Even the strong show weakness There is no shame in fear Dies Irae, dies illa Solvet saeclum in favilla Teste David cum Sybilla Quantus tremor est futurus Quando judex est venturus All that you saw and heard Yet you could not find As the days grow into years Growing inside you now We have the same dream Where I tell you my name My great wings devour the sun And now I fly, I fly!
3.
Gleaming: Climbing against gravity To the other side of day To behold the night's unclouded starry face A mouthful of silence As thin as an hour of comfort Within the narrowing dark hours It all quickly dissolves into the sunlight We the travellers, orphaned travellers Burning blood beneath our skin Feathered with sleep Dancing to the sweet sounds of autumn Let our hands rest Let our bodies lengthen in the night So the dawn can find us lying still again Another summer is gone We let our sorrow in It grows in the lucent grasses Breathing against the wind Being less than the light We bathe like children in starlight Pure and naked spirits Uttering speech without sound We the travellers, orphaned travellers Burning blood beneath our skin Feathered with sleep Dancing to the sweet sounds of autumn Let our hands rest Let our bodies lengthen in the night So the dawn can find us lying still again The wondrous hues of the sky Its rain inspiring our innocence Our fear and strength blooming Stretching all over the world Those who remember us Buried in the atmosphere We've become invisible We yearn to come back whole We yearn to come back home.
4.
Of Sun, Sky and Rain: Gather myself for what comes today The presence of silence What silence is there for I lived, Once there was a blooming tree, small and frail grows Where nothing can be born Droplets of blood float around me, Like a ritual rain on the eaves The taunting of sleep Willing the hour to come Dreamers chasing lost miracles Their billowed essences dangled Like puppets on strings To a thunderous wave of gratitude Dancing for all to see
5.
The Bringer of Balance: Guardian sentinel Watch over me Always watching, always waiting So eager and unafraid Always watching Always waiting Always there You are the child I thought I was You are the child I used to be And now I wear a coward's smile As you teach us, the fearless How to feel I am so small against the sky Repressing the urges Struggling within me Desires only half glimpsed And slightly out of reach Sometimes I stray So chase me back to sleep As light turns to ash You smile blindly Behind the flames Granting me the seeds of understanding Only to be whispered in the presence Of long forgotten gods I stray again You chase me back to sleep Guardian sentinel Watch over me Peel back my skin See me Open my body And see me I am the child you used to be I am the child you think you were And now you wear a hero's grin You are the child I used to be You are so small against the sky I am so small against the sky
6.
That Which Frees Us To Follow: Your stark breath, it wakes me As the sky pulses with a pallid strain The air carries her own wounds With ashes falling like rain …A grey distance stretched for miles A bell resounding - shimmers The voice of here and now... The voice of here and now and then If you turn to listen, you will hear it As you return over and over again Leaving from where we once belonged (Once belonged, once belonged) Now we can hold, embrace With arms wrapped tightly for sleep As the night blooms behind us There are things that don’t exist So we cannot desire this A day before we turn to stone An effigy in someone’s dream Today we die for nothing We know that most things end For we know that most things end
7.
Widowing: A chair by the window where I sit I can see the tree below, branches lightly dance A bell hangs from the curving bough Where it sings for me when the winds blow I bury you and mark you with a stone Sleep cold below as I lie awake above I will pick the milky flowers at dusk That will grow at your feet A bed by the window where I sleep I can see the Earth below, grasses lightly dance The bell hangs from a curving bough Where it weeps for me when the winds blow I can still cling to the stillness And peel back the joy weightless, like dew on petals, Kissing new leaves As we crumble into the soil Sensual breath seeps into the air Words grow quiet and the blooming comes A chair by the window where I sit... Alone, I can see the sky below, A bell hangs from the curving bough Where it sings for us when the winds blow Save your breath For I will bury me beside you
8.
The Secret (I loved thee) I loved thee, though I told thee not, Right earlily and long, Thou wert my joy in every spot, My theme in every song. And when I saw a stranger face Where beauty held the claim, I gave it like a secret grace The being of thy name. And all the charms of face or voice Which I in others see Are but the recollected choice Of what I felt for thee.
9.
Disgrace (Thou Dost Hate) Say that thou didst forsake me for some fault, And I will comment upon that offense. Speak of my lameness, and I straight will halt, Against thy reasons making no defense. Thou canst not, love, disgrace me half so ill, To set a form upon desired change, As I’ll myself disgrace, knowing thy will; I will acquaintance strangle and look strange, Be absent from thy walks, and in my tongue Thy sweet belovèd name no more shall dwell, Lest I, too much profane, should do it wrong And haply of our old acquaintance tell. Thou canst not, love, disgrace me half so ill, To set a form upon desired change, As I’ll myself disgrace, knowing thy will; I will acquaintance strangle and look strange, For thee against myself I’ll vow debate, For I must ne'er love him whom thou dost hate.
10.
10. If Ever The Time Comes Against that time, if ever that time come, When I shall see thee frown on my defects, When as thy love hath cast his utmost sum, Called to that audit by advis’d respects; Against that time when thou shalt strangely pass, And scarcely greet me with that sun, thine eye, When love, converted from the thing it was, Shall reasons find of settled gravity; Against that time do I ensconce me here, Within the knowledge of mine own desert, And this my hand, against my self uprear, To guard the lawful reasons on thy part: To leave poor me thou hast the strength of laws, Since why to love I can allege no cause.
11.
Foes Command (Parts Of Thee) Those parts of thee that the world’s eye doth view Want nothing that the thought of hearts can mend; All tongues, the voice of souls, give thee that due, Uttering bare truth, even so as foes commend. Thy outward thus with outward praise is crown’d; But those same tongues that give thee so thine own In other accents do this praise confound By seeing farther than the eye hath shown. They look into the beauty of thy mind, And that, in guess, they measure by thy deeds; Then, churls, their thoughts, although their eyes were kind, To thy fair flower add the rank smell of weeds: (that give thee so thine own) But why thy odour matcheth not thy show, The solve is this, that thou dost common grow
12.
Possessing So are you to my thoughts as food to life, Or as sweet-season'd showers are to the ground; And for the peace of you I hold such strife As 'twixt a miser and his wealth is found. Now proud as an enjoyer, and anon Doubting the filching age will steal his treasure; Now counting best to be with you alone, Then better'd that the world may see my pleasure: Sometime all full with feasting on your sight, (you alone) And by and by clean starved for a look; Possessing or pursuing no delight Save what is had, or must from you be took. Thus do I pine and surfeit day by day, Or gluttoning on all, or all away.
13.

about

credits

released February 15, 2022

Autumn Tears - Widowing credits:

Piano, composition, arrangements, lyrics: Ted Tringo
Lead / backing vocals: Caroline Joy Clarke
Vocal / lyric arrangements, choir vocals: Caroline Joy Clarke
Lead / backing vocals: Darren Clarke
Vocal / lyric arrangements, choir vocals: Darren Clarke
Violin, viola, string arrangements: Jess Townsend
Cello, string arrangements: Tom McCluskey
Composition, arrangements, tar and percussion: Soroush Abedi
Orchestral arrangements and percussion: Artur Silveiro
Lead and backing vocals, vocal and lyric arrangements: Tamar Singer
Lead vocals and vocal arrangements: Ffion Elisa Williams
Lead / backing vocals: Dawn Desireé Smith
Vocal / lyric arrangements: Dawn Desireé Smith
Backing vocals, choir vocals: Nathan Nasby
Violin, viola: Sanja Smileska
Violin, viola: Oleg Bezuglov
French Horn: Claude Lumley
French Horn: Austris Apenis
Oboe: Carolina Prado Sánchez
Trumpet: Josué García García
Trumpet: Matt Giella
Trumpet: Oli Parker
Trombone: María Gabriela Soto
Flute, Piccolo: Giulia Cacciavillani
Wooden traverse flute, tin whistle: Alia Fay
Harp: Mercedes Bralo
Hammered dulcimer: Val Cortoni
Mastering: Peter Bjärgö
Artwork for Autumn Tears: Marcela Bolívar

Zeresh - Possessing credits:

All music was composed, played, recorded and mixed by: Zeresh (Tamar Singer)
Violins - Sara Krasemann
Guest vocalists: Déhà, Davidavi Dolev
Guest noise-master: Michael Zolotov
Mastered by: Peter Bjärgö
Artwork by: Anton Chuikov
Original Photo by: Nitzan Kanety

Thank you very much:
Family, Friends, Supporters and partners in crime(!!)
Ted Tringo, Michael Zolotov, Déhà, Davidavi Dolev, Sara Krasemann,, Stephan Friedman, Ganel I., Shay Mizrahi, Erez Moshe,Vlad Shusterman, Ayelet Rose Gottlieb, Ron Ben-Tovim, Lahv Levi

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